


The Doctor and The Racist

by SomeSuperHero



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Graphic Rape and Violence, Messing up episodes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-13 11:43:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16891944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeSuperHero/pseuds/SomeSuperHero
Summary: Krasko steals The Doctor's sonic, just so he can hurt her. So The Doctor has to put up with the pain that follows





	1. Shattered

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything, besides this very messed up fic.
> 
>    
> TRIGGER WARNINGS, mostly for chapter one.  
> More chapters? Most likely. They may be a little happier.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Check the warnings and you will know what this chapter is about/

 

     The Doctor opened the door to the TARDIS, and ran to the bathroom, before anyone saw her. Throwing down her suspenders, shoes, and socks. She looked in the mirror and gasped. There were tons of bruises and cuts, not even left over regeneration power could help her now.  
       

    "Well, what do you expect? You where just chained and kicked around for another's amusement," She said aloud. The alien grabbed a rag off the shelf, and wet it. The Doctor pressed it against her bloody and swollen lip. She used the other hand to comb her hair out of the blood that was running down her forehead.

      How was she ever going to hide these? Her vision became foggy. She tried pacing in the small space. She stepped on her shoe string, falling she hit her head on the tub.

     Her mind made herself relive two hours of hell.  
\----------  
      Yaz, Graham, and Ryan went to do their separate things for the mission. Her stake out was to re-find the racist. He wasn't that hard to find. He was in the same shed that she had destroyed the Vortex Malupiator. The broken pieces still littered the ground.

   The Doctor patted her pockets, as Rosa still had her jacket. "Looking for this?" He said, coming out from behind a stack of crates. Krasko held the sonic tightly in his hand. The Doctor ran up to yank it from his hand, but he punched her when she was in arms length. She turned away, holding her lip. It tasted of rust. 

      "Ugh," She groaned. "Wonderful tool, You got here. Just had to reverse something and... Well, I can hurt you," He said, pleased with himself.

   "Give it here, now," The Doctor ordered. Krasko tossed it behind him. As expected, The Doctor was trying to get it. He grabbed her shoulder, tightly. She wasn't quick enough, and Krasko had dragged her to the ground.

     "Let me go!" The Doctor yelled at him. He punched her once agian, right below the eye, knowing it would leave a mark.Krasko pulled her suspenders down. "No. Absolutely not!" She yelled at him,  pulling them back up. He pulled out some rope from his pocket. Placing one knee across her chest, he pulled down the suspenders again. This time being much quicker, he pulled off her shirts and tied her hands around a desk that was bolted to the ground. She started to struggle. 

     "Calm down," he said. When she didn't, he punched her again, but this time in the neck stopping her breathing for a moment.    

     "Get off of me," The Doctor ordered. Krasko ignored her and undid her undershirt. The Doctor pulled against the rope.

    "Let me go!" She yelled at him. He got up and started kicking her with his steal-toe boots. "Ugh," she groaned in pain. The kicks landed on her face, neck, and chest.

     After about the thirteenth kick, he got back down hovering over her. Krasko kissed her bloody and swollen lip. She had pulled back. He grabbed breasts, toying with her. The Doctor started yelling once more.

    "You don't ever shut up, do you?" He asked, amused. He looked around the shed or a moment. He found an oily rag and shoved it in The Doctor's mouth, muffing everything.

      He untied her shoes, taking his time, before pulling them off. His hands crept along the inside of her legs. Krasko undid the claps of the suspenders and loosened the button. He threw the suspenders by her shirts. He pulled down the TARDIS blue pants, with her underwear.  

      "You are already getting wet. Looks like you are enjoying this," He smiled. Trying not to taste the oil on the rag, she yelled in protest. When Krasko placed his fingers on her clit, she gasped in shock. He trailed his fingers to her stomach.

  He started tracing letters. Not of English nor any languages of the Earth. No, this word was alien. It was Gallifreyan. _How did he know Gallifreyan?_ It was easy to translate. Only one word after all: _Damned._

 _Well,_ she thought, sarcastically and weakly _, Can't wait to see you there._

Krasko saw when the translation clicked. He saw it in her eyes. It shattered her, like glass on cement. He pulled of his jacket.

 _No, keep your jacket on_! The Doctor thought. He tossed it on top of The Doctor's stuff. He removed his shirt. _Haven't you hurt me enough?_ He moved on to his belt _._ The Doctor looked up at the ceiling. _Please don't._

She felt his naked body get on hers. The Doctor breathing slowed down. Her lungs were being crushed under Krasko' s weight. He removed the muffle. She wanted to yell so loud the entire state of Alabama could hear, but she couldn't. Krasko held the bloody and teary face in his hands. He crushed her lips. He bit down on the bottom one, making it reopen. When he pulled back, he put the rag back in her mouth, and started to rub her collar bones.  The Doctor felt blood falling  from her mouth.

   He kissed them. The Doctor pulled against the ropes, again. Every time she tried to pull away, the ropes kept getting tighter and tighter, cutting into her wrists. He got off of her. The Doctor's breathing sped up, now that she had room for her chest to rise and fall.

    Krasko pushed her legs apart and rammed inside of her. Even with the muffle, he heard her make a sound between a gasp and a yell.

     Oh, dear, god. It hurt. He kept pushing in her, knowing she should be able to take more. Tears continued to fall. This time from the pain. Pain from her head, her throat, her chest, everything felt like she was used as a welcome mat.

    Krasko still had not stopped. He was close, so close. When he came, he let out a moan of relief.

    He got up and started putting his choles back on, slowly. Krasko turned to The Doctor, who was pulling against the rope again.

   "Ah, _you_ still aren't being to good," He laughed. He started to kick her again. This time mainly going for her abdomen and stomping on collar bones. 

    After five good kicks, she didn't count anymore, not really wanting to know the number.

  He sat by her head and slapped her. It only took a couple of seconds before he went back to punching.  He got up and kicked the sonic to her, and disappeared .

   ---------

 

The Doctor woke up, shivering. She was in a bed, her bed. Someone had moved her. and she had her suspenders, socks, and shoes on. There was a beep of the TARDIS. It had said: YAZ MOVED YOU AFTER YOU SLIPPED. The Doctor couldn't smile, Her face hurt. Everything hurt. She looked at her sonic and scanned herself. Before she could even look at the results, someone knocked on her door.

   "Come in," She said. Her voice was all wrong. Yaz walked in. "The TARDIS informed me that you were awake." There was a pause.

    "How long was I out? Where is Ryan and Graham?' The Doctor asked. "You where out for about seven hours. As for Graham and Ryan, they are in the kitchen, where else?" The Doctor looked down at her sonic. The overall healing days would have to amount to two weeks. "Ugh," she said. "Hey the TARDIS said that we're in Sheffield. You should go." 

  "No, you may need some help recover---HOLY SHIT!"

    The Doctor's shirt had risen a little, revealing the huge black and blue bruise on her abdomen. She pulled down the shirt quickly.

  "I don't think that you just fell. There is no way. How could you get hit your _head_ on the bath tub, and have wounds on you _stomach_?.. and face?" Yaz said, grabbing the Doctor's hand. _What happened?_

  "Ran into Krasko last night and uh.....he hurt me, I'm okay." She said, letting her eyes wander to a table of tiny machines. Yaz thought about it for a second. 

  "Did he rape you,?" Yaz asked, quietly

 --------

   Yaz couldn't believe she had asked her that. It was one thing if she honestly knew, but she didn't. The Doctor could've been kicked around. Which still wasn't okay, either way. If she had then what would she say. "It's okay?" _No, that wouldn't be true_. "We could report him?" _To whom?_  

   If not then, well, she didn't know that either. "Well, you'll heal." No, that's mean.  "How?" Paraphs she wasn't going to be ready to give that information out. Either way, Yaz knew she had to help.  

\---------- 

 . "Uh...Yeah," she said, holding her stomach. Yaz's eyes got wide. Then The Doctor saved her from saying something stupid by saying something stupid.

   " 'M fine." 

  "Doctor, you aren't. You're lying to me. _Yourself_ , even, if you truly think that," Yaz said. The Doctor got up. She stumbled for a bit. Yaz caught her before she could fall. She reached for her jacket. Yaz set her back on the bed. 

   "You should really stay here," Yaz said, giving back her jacket. I'll go and get some tea." The Doctor nodded slightly.\

\-------

   When the door closed, The Doctor put on her jacket, wrapping it tightly around her. She held her knees close to her chest. 

   She sat up agian, and stood up. The Doctor gasped. Pain shot through her body. She held on the nearest table, stumbling agian. The Doctor pulled herself up. She held on the wall. The TARDIS beeped: GET BACK IN BED.

  "No," The Doctor said, quietly. She was in so much pain. She walked out of the room, holding her side, and roamed into the console room.

   "Poor TARDIS," she said. Sparks where flying where the crystal met the levers in the middle of the room. "I'll fix you in a minute," She promised.

    She heard Yaz talking with Graham and Ryan. The Doctor put her head on the door. 

   "No, you should go. I'll take care of her," Yaz told them.

   "Are you sure?" Graham asked.

   "Yeah."  

   The Doctor opened the door. Graham and Ryan had coughed on their tea.

   "Doc, what happened. I know you slipped, but there is no way that you got all of those just by _falling_ ," Graham asked, getting up to stand by her.  

      "I'm okay," She said, but no matter what she had said, it didn't stop her from placing her head on his shoulder. After a moment, she pulled back. 

    "What happened?" Ryan asked, very concerned. 

   The Doctor shook her head, not answering. Yaz handed her a mug of tea.

    "Thanks. You should go. I have to fix the console," The Doctor said. 

     "Okay, Doctor. Don't leave us," Graham said. 

     "I'm not." 

      After both Ryan and Graham left, The Doctor walked into the console room. She picked up a tool box, as she gasped. Her hand went to her shoulder.

    I'm okay, she told herself. 


	2. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's denial is getting on Yaz's nerves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm still beating The Doctor up.  
> More chapters to come.

       The Doctor leaned over the console, and started to talk to The TARDIS, as she fixed the broken pieces. Trying to ignore the pain that was coursing through her body, she grabbed her wielding goggles, and a _regular_ screwdriver. 

  She took off a lever that was melted. "Ugh," she said, throwing it behind her. Yaz stood beside her. 

  "Hey, you shouldn't be doing this," Yaz said, placing a hand on her shoulder. The Doctor flinched, and Yaz pulled her hand away.

  She stopped tinkering with the lever. A sparks flew up. She hit it with the handle of the screwdriver.  The Doctor turned around, and took off the goggles. Immediately tears where falling, reflecting in the orange glow of the room. She crossed her arms tightly on her chest. Yaz stood there for a moment not knowing what to do. She was taught a little bit about the psychology about these types of things and what to do, for being an officer, but it was brief, and lost somewhere in her own mind.    

   "You should be resting at least. it might help you," Yaz said, taking the screwdriver from her. She tossed it on the console, causing the TARDIS to beep and sending another spark in the air  

    "No, I've had enough sleep. Besides, I told you. I'm **_fine_**." She whispered. Yaz looked like she was getting mad. She raised her hand to set it on her shoulder, but thought better of it, so she put it back down. The Doctor hunched over, like she was trying to protect her head. After a second, she rose back up. 

     "What's wrong?' Yaz asked. She saw The Doctor's lip quivering. "Did you think I was going to hit you?"  The Doctor nodded, ever so slightly, her eyes wandering not meeting Yaz's. 

     "I'm sorry. Looked like you were mad at me. I am being dumb," The Doctor said, quietly, her eyes focused on the tiny TARDIS model on the console. She ran her hand through her hair, leaving it as wild as her eyes where. 

   "No, I'm not mad just frustrated. You claim you are fine, but you would act like this if you where. You wouldn't cry. You would let Graham and Ryan stay. You wouldn't flinch when I raise my hand." Yaz took The Doctor's hand. For the first time her green eyes met Yaz's brown eyes. "I understand what he did to you, but you can't go around pretending nothing's wrong, okay? You're clearly hurting. I want to help. If you don't want help, that's okay. too." 

    "Thanks, Yaz," The Doctor said, almost choking. "You want to come to my house, with me?" Yaz asked," You don't have to tell anyone what happened." The Doctor pulled her hand way, and said," S-s-sure." 

    "Need my sonic," She said, turning around. A thought crossed her mind. She pulled her coat close. The Doctor stopped for a moment then turned back around," Never mind."  She went to the TARDIS door, and put her hand on it, ready to push it open. Yaz said, "Don't worry. Nobody's going to hurt you. I'll make sure of it." The Doctor pushed the door open, taking a deep breath. She looked around Sheffield, it was around five in the evening. They had parked in the exact same place as last time, right outside of Yaz's apartment. They were silent on the way.

    "A-a--are you sure this is okay?" The Doctor asked, right outside the door. "Doctor, it'll be fine." Yaz opened the door and walked in. She took a deep breath. _Maybe she shouldn't have agreed,_ she thought. Ignoring that thought, she walked in.

  "Hey, Yaz," her dad called out. He was at the stove, making dinner. They went into the living room and sat on the sofa. The Doctor sat in the corner of it, trying to take up the least amount of space. He turned around. He was surprised to see The Doctor. Well, surprised to see her all cut up and bruised.

   "Where's Mum?" Yaz asked.

    "In the bedroom."

    Sonya walked in, reading something on her phone, not noticing The Doctor. Yaz turned to The Doctor," I'll be right back." The Doctor nodded. Yaz walked out of the room. The Doctor's breathing went shallow.

     "What's going on, Doctor?" Hakim asked, trying to be polite.

     The Doctor shook her head. He took that as a "nothing much."

      Sonya looked up from her phone. 

   "Oh. Hi, Doctor," She laughed. It ceased when she saw her face. Her bruised, cut up, tear-stained face.

\----------   

    "Mum?" Yaz called out. 

    "Yeah?" She asked, walking into the hallway. 

      "I invited The Doctor over. Please be nice," Yaz told her, quietly.

     "I will. I wonder if she still knows my name?" Najia said, walking into the common area _. I wasn't done speaking_ , Yaz thought.  She saw The Doctor was sitting on the sofa, her face buried in her hands.

   That was odd. She wasn't running around like a little kid, commenting on everything. and being weird. _The fact that she was not being weird was weird._

     "Doctor?" She asked," Are you alright?"

_L_ _eave her alone, please,_ Yaz thought. The Doctor looked up at Yaz. Najia gasped. Tears where once again glistening in her eyes. _I'm sorry,_ Yaz thought. Her eyes seemed to say.

_It's fine,_ Yaz could've sworn The Doctor spoke to her, but she hadn't. Her eyes said it all, even her crying eyes where capable of denial.  They were saved from anymore "eye talking," when Hakim told them that supper was ready. He asked The Doctor if she wanted some.

  "No, I'm fine," The Doctor said. After that no one talked to her, letting her cry in silence. 

   "Here," Yaz said, giving her a set of  choles, two hours later. It was a plain blue t-shirt and grey sweat pants or what passed for pajamas according to Yaz. "You can go take a shower," Yaz pointed to the door. The Doctor nodded, grabbing the choles. She turned on the water, and stood there for a second, not really wanting to take off her choles, in privacy or otherwise. She removed her coat. She noticed for the first time that her wrists where a bit purple, but other than that her arm seemed okay. When she took off her shirt, she saw that there were several bruises across her chest and two really big patches on her lower stomach, that hurt even if she didn't touch them. Her face, though, was still looking really rough, even without the blood.

  Fifteen minutes later, she got out. Pulling on the pajamas, she felt a little better, She put her jacket back on, and grabbed the rest of her choles. She walked out of the bathroom, back to the sofa. The Doctor folded her choles and put them at the top of the couch, with the yellow suspenders on top.

     "Hey, Doctor," Yaz said. "Graham and Ryan texted. Here." She sat by The Doctor handing her the phone.

   **IS THE DOCTOR OKAY? --GRAHAM & RYAN**

The Doctor texted back.

   **SHE IS FINE.** She pressed send before Yaz could read it. When she did, Yaz looked at her. "Oh, Doctor."  

   

    "Doctor, wake up. Wake up."

   She jerked up. The light was on, and someone was standing in front of her. The person was looking concerned.

     The Doctor was breathing heavily. Her throat was hurting. 

    "What's happing? Where am I?" she asked, tears streaked her face.  She started to thrash around, knocking the folded clothes to the ground. After a second, she relaxed. The person in front of her was Najia Khan. 

      "Ssshhh," she said, sitting next to The Doctor," Why where you yelling?" 


	3. A Flash and and Two Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a horrible night at Yaz's, The Doctor gets a call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T HATE ME IN THE COMMENTS.  
> 

  

  The Doctor jerked up. Her heartbeats where unsteady and breathing was short.  

    "What's happing? Where am I?" she asked, tears streaked her face. Her throat was burning.  She started to shake, knocking the folded clothes on the ground. 

  The person in front of her was Najia Khan. 

      "Ssshhh," she said, sitting next to The Doctor," Why where you yelling?" The Doctor was a little confused, because she didn't know she was even yelling at all.

      The Doctor ignored her question, but asked one in turn. 

      "Where's Yaz?" The Doctor asked, wiping her eyes.

         "I'm right here," Yaz said sitting on the other side of her. The Doctor placed her head on her shoulder, not even caring that Najia was still there.

          "Can we go back to the TARDIS?" It was barely audible.  

         "Not now. It's way too late, but we will go in the morning."

            The Doctor laid her head back and she stared at the ceiling, waiting to fall into a numb sleep. Feeling like she shouldn't be there, Najia left. 

         --------------

   _Yaz stayed by her. Being sure, she would be there if The Doctor needed her. She was just thinking._

_She wanted to help more. Yaz wanted her to no longer feel pain. Not just the physical pain, but the mental pain, as well. She stared at the dim wall._

    "Yaz?" The Doctor asked. Yaz looked at her. "It hurts...Why does it hurt?" Yaz thought for a moment. 

    "Are you finally saying you aren't fine?" 

   The Doctor didn't answer, and continued to stare at the ceiling.  She heard somebody speak. The voice didn't belong to any of the Khans. It was Krasko's. 

     She sat up, and looked around. 

     "Where are you hiding?" She called out, getting up. 

     "Doctor, who are you talking to?" Yaz tried to listen. There was nothing moving. Everything was still. 

       The Doctor pointed. Krasko was standing by the table.. 

      "Nobody is there, Doctor. Come back lay down." Yaz took her arm, pulling her back to the couch.  

     The Doctor broke free from her grip, and ran out the door. 

     'Doctor," she called out. The Doctor didn't turn back. Yaz opened the door and ran out following her.  She saw The Doctor turn the corner. Then she stopped hearing footsteps.

  "Doctor, he's not there. Come back!" Yaz said, turning the corner. The Doctor was sitting on the ground. Her head on her knees.  

   "Doctor?"  

   The Doctor looked up at her. She put up her hand.

   "Don't, please!" She yelled loud enough for the whole complex to hear.

   "I'm not going to hurt you. Listen, you're safe. You're safe," Yaz whispered. The Doctor had heard the words, but didn't comprehend them. She put down her hand.

   "Yaz?... Yasmin?" The Doctor asked.

   "I'm here. Kras --  nobody else is here," She reassured her.  It took her a second to calm down. The entire time, Yaz could see the fear in her eyes. It was something she saw rarely, but now it was there, wandering waiting for the next attack. She saw tears. Yaz stood up looking around. The Doctor didn't need to see her mad. _That damn bastard,_ she thought, _If he ever came into her presence again, I swear, I'll kill him. I kill him for what he had done._

   "Are you sure?" Yaz turned around, pushing the thoughts out of her head. She looked at The Doctor, and nodded. 

    "Yeah, let's go back." The Doctor held out her hand, and Yaz took it, pulling her up. The Doctor crossed her arms, and they walked back into the apartment, quietly.

 

    They didn't go back to the TARDIS,  first thing in the morning. In fact, Yaz didn't wake up till around noon. She didn't go back to sleep after The Doctor had woken up. Not until she accidently nodded off, sitting up on the other side of the couch.

      The Doctor on the other hand woke up, right when the sun first came though the windows. She changed, and ran out the door into the TARDIS, spending the least amount of time outside. The ship hummed at her arrival and the words MISSED CALL were on a monitor, left eight hours ago.                                                        

  She wondered into the kitchen opening the fridge. It was supposed to look like the TARDIS, but it wasn't bigger on the inside and hardly had anything on it.

     The TARDIS played the message. 

        "Hey, Doc. It's Graham. Can you call me back, as soon as you get this message. Talk to you later."

         The Doctor shut the door to the fridge. She went back into the control room. The telephone was sitting on the console. She leaned on the door frame, staring at it. The number went on the screen. Sighing, she picked up the phone and dialed the number Even though, it was six in the morning, Graham picked up on the second ring.

     "Hey, Doctor," Graham said," Are you okay? I asked Yaz, and she texted back saying you where fine, but I had to ask you just in case." 

      "Yeah, I'm okay," She lied. She looked around for a moment. "No, Graham. I'm not okay." 

       "Tell me about the bruises on your face." The Doctor heard a beep. 

       "Hang on, there's another person on the line," She said. She pressed the button. 

         "Yeah?" She asked. 

        "Hello, Doctor? I need your help!" 

        The Doctor blinked. _It couldn't be._

       "Doctor! I need your help! There is someone looking for you. He says his name is Krasko. Help me!" 

        The TARDIS flashed the lights, recognizing the voice. Who couldn't recognize that voice.

        "Where are you?" The Doctor asked. 

         "I don't know, but I need help," cried the other person.

          "The TARDIS can track the phone. I'll be there as soon as possible." 

            The other hung up.

         "Graham, are you still there?" 

        "Yeah, " he said. 

         "I need to go. I'll be back. I promise, pass the message along to Yaz and Ryan for me," She said, very mad.

        She slammed down the phone.  The Doctor looked at the ceiling, fully knowing she was going to track down a monster. 

    As much as it was going to hurt her to see Krasko agian, **nobody was going to hurt her wife. Nobody was going to hurt River Song.**


	4. "Let's go resuce, River."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let's go rescue, River."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, don't hate me in the comments.  
> I had no idea how I would write this chapter, but I tried.

     The Doctor went to the controls, and sighed. She had forgotten to replace the leaver.

   "Okay. I'll replace the leaver, but you're going have to go into autopilot. Listen to me very, very carefully," she said. The Doctor closed her eyes, and took a few deep breaths, trying to relax. The Doctor picked up the metal leaver and started to fix the leaver. 

   "Where was that phone? What planet is it?" The TARDIS was quiet for a moment and beeped. "Earth! Not Graham's phone, River's."  

  The TARDIS beeped again, after a minute. 

   "Thank you. Planet of Nothing. That's going to take a bit. Come on, let's go save River."  She felt the TARDIS, destabilize .  

  _"Hello, Doctor."_ He was back. The Doctor jerked up, knocking the toolbox to the ground, spilling the contents everywhere. She turned around slowly, her hands started to shake. Krasko was standing by the door, just watching The Doctor.

    "What are you doing here?" He didn't say anything, just walked up, pulling off his jacket. The Doctor turned and ran down the corridors. She opened a random door, and ran in the room. The Doctor locked the door and leaned her forehead on the door.

  "C-c-confuse him. Change the d-d-doors around," She whispered to the TARDIS. The TARDIS flashed it's lights.

**_"CONFUSE WHO?"_ **

"Where is he?" The Doctor cried out, falling to her knees. She heard him calling out in the hallway. 

     **"Nobody is here, my poor thief."**

   "Where's Yaz?" The Doctor asked no one, she would help. 

    _She's still at home remember? You're on a rescue mission,_ she thought. "Right... .. R-r-river." The Doctor said out loud, once again talking to no one, standing up and opening the door.

   The hallway was clear. The Doctor crept around the corner, trying not to think about anything, except for how to fix the TARDIS. Just  then, the ship shook and hit the planet's ground. 

**_"We are here."_ **

_She_ half-ran, half -walked to the medical room. 

    "Okay," She grabbed her sonic. She needed something to return the neural restrictor back on. Her hand shook and she reached out to grab the screwdriver.  

    The Doctor cracked open the door, her breathing was gaining speed.

  "No, Doctor. Don't be weak. She needs your help," She said, looking around. The planet really lived up to it's name. There was nothing. 

  She stepped outside, and continued to look around. She looked at the ground. Instead of Earth's grassy lands, The Planet of Nothing had black and brown sand, that stretched on for miles in all directions. 

   The Doctor stuck out her shaking hand scanning the area. There was a distortion filter all over the place. The Doctor waved her sonic removing it. The Doctor and the TARDIS was in a room. It had tons of tables and covered with very questionable weapons. There was a stair case and a door and glass everywhere.

   

   "Hello, Doctor," River called out. The Doctor spun around.

   "River."  

    She was chained against the wall, and yet she smiled slightly at The Doctor.

   The Doctor pulled out her sonic. The chains where being stubborn and not unlocking. 

   "Come on," she said. When it wasn't working, The Doctor put it away.

   "You can't get them undone with your sonic. I've tried already." 

    _What_? The Doctor thought for a moment, stopping to understand what River was saying.  Then she remembered. She felt as if she was watching tv, but the picture and sound was distant.

_It was Christmas, just this pass regeration.  The Scottsman Doctor had joined her outside holding a gold box with a small red ribbon._

_"Now that's a suit," She had said._

_"Merry Christmas." The Doctor hand her the box._

_"Are you crazy?" She asked," I don't think you've ever gave me a present before."  River grabbed the box. The Doctor looked kind of smug. River had opened it., laying inside was a sonic._

_"Ah," She gasped," It's a sonic. screwdriver!"_

_\---_

    This meant she was going into the library soon.

   She looked around. A key was on a chain, hung by the door. She walked over. The key was no bigger than the TARDIS key, she had constantly lost.  

There were footsteps on the stair, making her loose her train of thought. Krasko reached the bottom of the stairs. 

  "Nice of you to drop by, Doctor," He said. Her breathing quickened.

     She wanted to sit down and cry. _No, Doctor, face your fears or they grow stronger,_ she thought. 

    "Krasko," She yelled at him," Let her go." 

   "She was simply bait, but--," 

   He walked beside her placing his hand on her cheek. The Doctor full of anger, pulled him off. 

  "Don't touch her!"  He  pushed her into the staircase, turning back to River. She immediately got u, but stumbled on her feet, causing her to trip. Krasko saw some glass cut her face. When she got up, Krasko pushed her against the wall. 

   "I was quite easy to track down on of your friends.... Then when I found out the timeless child had a wife..... Things got a bit funnier. Even better when I found out she was from StormCage as well." He took a good hand size piece of glass from the table. 

   She looked past him at River. Krasko pressed the glass on her neck. River looked away at the sounds of The Doctor yelling, struggling to be free. It,was,a sound she heard a few time before and hated. River pulled against the cuffs. 

    Krasko made lines on her face and neck. He pushed her further into the wall. The Doctor couldn't look at River, anymore. She didn't need to see the pain. He crushed her lips again. 

   _That was it,_ she thought, _He hurt me too much. He wasn't going to hurt River the same way_.

   She pulled the sonic out of her jacket pocket and pointed at his brain. It started to make noise, and she covered it with fake groans. As soon as the sonic stopped, The Doctor pushed him back immediately.  

    The Doctor placed a hand on her face and tore the key away from his pants loop. 

       He placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it tightly, trying to bring River bac down.. Then he let go, hunching over. His head was up, looking at both of the women. River walked to one of the tables, picking up her sonic.

   "Wonderful tool, I've got. Just had to reverse something and... Well, you can't hurt me or anyone else." River said, kicked him on the leg.  _You can't hurt me anymore ….._

_"You damn---" he gasped, holding his thigh. His leg was sticking out in a odd angle. Krasko's leg was broken._

She exhaled sharply. Fear lingered, though...… and pain. 

   She stormed into the TARDIS, not looking back. River started to mess with the controls.   

   "Hey, Doctor?" She stopped messing with the console.

  "Yeah?" She said, standing beside her.

    "He told me what he had done He can't get to you anymore. Are you going to be okay?" River looked into her eyes.

     She looked at the console, not wanting to think about him, anymore.

   "What are you setting the place and time for?" The Doctor asked, when River placed her hand on the leaver. The Doctor placed her hand on top of her wife's. 

   "My timeline. Yes I know, it's a bit Wibbily- Wobbly," she said, alone, but they finished it together.

   "Timey Whimey!"  They flipped the leaver. 

   


	5. Mother Knows Best.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After turning back on the neuro restrictor back on, The Doctor was seeking a peace of mind, but couldn't find it. She talks to the only person there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that chapter four was going to be the last chapter, but I guess not.

 Dropping off River in her own timeline was hard enough, knowing what was coming, but then The Doctor was alone.... The weight- that numbed slightly when River was around-- had crashed on her shoulders again. 

  Although nothing happened, The Doctor had felt very wrong.

 She opened the door to her bathroom, and grabbed her toothbrush and a full tube of toothpaste.  She brushed her teeth until the toothpaste was gone and the bristles of the toothbrush were damaged. The feeling didn't drain with the water. The Doctor felt the TARDIS land. 

   The Doctor tossed the ruined toothbrush back on the sink, and sighed. The Doctor couldn''t stand being alone like this. She poked her head out of the TARDIS door, looking around. She thanked the TARDIS and ran out. The Doctor ran up the stairs, and barged into the apartment, not even bothering to knock. She looked around, her eyes full of tears. She had wondered how could she still cry, after a day and a half. 

  She didn't see Yaz or anyone. The Doctor sat on the couch, waiting. 

  ---

  Najia heard the door open and slam. Yaz and Harkim were at work, and Sonya was at a friend's house. _Who was in her house?_ She dropped the folded shirt and walked in the hallway in silence  Najia glanced around the corner. The Doctor was sitting on the couch, hugging her knees, with her head on her hands. Her eyes where held a blank expression, staring at a fixed point in the carpet. She looked like she needed help. If Najia knew anything it was if people needed help, she would only _sometimes_ refuse. She was like her daughter that way.

   "Doctor?" She asked, stepping closer. The Doctor didn't stir.  "Doctor?" The woman looked up. 

   "W-w-where is Yaz?" She asked, looking up at her. 

   "At work. After she received a phone call, after you left, Yaz went to work... She should be on her way home soon," she added, looking at the wounded Doctor, sitting on the couch, a foot apart from her. She had more cuts on her face and neck.

  "Okay," She sobbed, muffling it little with her hand. Najia scooted closer to The Doctor, and placed her arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong, Doctor?"

  The Doctor looked taken aback.

\-----

  _The Doctor thought about not how to answer, but if she should. Yaz had said that it was okay not to tell them. Yaz was a kind of like her mum, but not really. She trusted Yaz, why didn't she trust her mother._

\-----

    " It's really hard to put into words." The Doctor replied, "Thousands of languages, and not one of them could tell you how I feel. Nothing could summon the array of words that I feel." The Doctor looked at her."Try, please. You came here last night, looking terrible crying. This morning you leave with out telling Yasmin where you where going. And now you are still crying and still look terrible. Just try. Try, so I can help you."

   For a second, The Doctor sat there. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Then closed her mouth and looked over at Najia. The Doctor saw the truth of those words. Then looked back at the floor,

 "Strange. I guess that would fit it, but so can weird, so could fear. This just feels odd. Mostly fear," The Doctor looked around the room, holding her hand in the other. Najia didn't know what to do, then she saw something.

    "Hold on, Doctor." Najia had caught something blue on The Doctor's collarbone. "I'm not going to hurt you. Just let me see something, okay?" Najia pulled on the shirt a tiny bit, and uncovered a bruise." How many of bruises do you have?"  

    "Don't know. I didn't count." The Doctor told her, pulling the shirt back into place. "You said fear, what are you afraid of?"

    "It's dumb. My fear is dumb," She told Najia, not thinking. 

    "No, it isn't. It's okay to be afraid. Fear is there, so we don't do anything that would harm us," Najia reassured her, rubbing The Doctor's back.

    "It didn't stop me... He hurt me yesterday or was it day before yesterday..  or  63 years ago? He hurt me, and I don't want to hurt anymore. I've dealt with pain before, but never like this. He captured one of my w- friends and I went to look for him." 

     Who was he? She hadn't said. Najia had looked at her face. It was still covered in red, black, blue, and purple. "Kr-- He had not hurt her, but I had to get her out of the chains. I needed to distract him, so I kissed him, handing over the key to get fee and leave." They waited while Najia was trying to understand something," You left this morning, but you said--…..  Oh," 

   Well. that explained the lack of childish behavior, or the lack of any behavior. Najia knew that Yasmin had been knowing. Yaz was there to comfort her. She was there to protect The Doctor. Najia didn't know a lot of the facts, but she knew she had to  help her.

   "Do you want something to eat?" Najia asked, getting up. "Sure," She reasoned, leaning back. 

   A few minutes had passed, and neither had said another word. Then they heard the door open.

  ---

  Yaz opened the apartment door, sighing. She had a bad day at work. almost six and half hours of worrying about The Doctor. It wasn't a day of crimes, even just parking crimes, so it left a lot of free time to  wonder where had The Doctor gone.

   She came in to her mother sitting quietly, on the sofa, about a foot from The Doctor.  Her eyes where red, and she was trying to choke down some mac and cheese. 

  "Doctor, where were you this morning?" She asked, sitting next to her, just where her mother was sitting a few minutes ago. "I'll tell you laters."

  _Laters?_ "Okay," Yaz whispered," I was worried. At first, I though you'd run off again." She looked at her mother. Najia said," A little bit," answering the question, Yaz had asked. _"Did she tell you what happened?"_  

  Najia got up, seeing that Yaz was way better at helping, and left the room. "New plan, tomorrow. We aren't going to stay here or in the TARDIS. We are going to take a time and space trip, okay?" The Doctor looked at Yaz, scrunching up her face. "No, I'm not going anywhere." 

 "Yes, you will, even if I have to fly the TARDIS _myself._ It isn't good to think you are stuck inside."  

 "I know I can go anywhere. I just choose not to." 

  "Okay, then. Tomorrow we are going somewhere, where ever you choose. As long as it's not Sheffield, and 2018."

  "Fine."  


	6. A New Way to Cope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor tries a new way to cope, with reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a really bad headache and I am really tired, so this chapter is shit.

 

   Yaz had woken up to silence, again. She knew The Doctor snored--well, just enough to be heard-- and her breathing always quickened. She hopped up from her bed. Wait, bed?.. She thought she had fallen asleep on the couch, again.  Worried. she looked out her window. It was raining, but she still saw the police box. _Okay. The TARDIS was still there...._ She walked into the living room... _.. But  where's The Doctor?_

 "Mum, where's The Doctor?" she asked, her mother who was standing in the kitchen. Najia looked just as worried. 

  "No, idea. She couldn't fall asleep, so she said she had to go home." Yaz glanced out the window. "I'll be back," She said, going to the door. "Make sure she's okay," Najia called out. Yaz nodded as she opened the door. As the rain was falling she ran to the TARDIS, and tugged on the door. "Open up," She yelled at the ship, when she found it locked. The TARDIS hummed. "I don't understand. Just open the door." After a few minutes of yelling at the ship, it unlocked. Soaking wet, Yaz stepped in. There was a large tool box on the floor, with it's contents everywhere. Yaz started to search for The Doctor as thoughts came through her head. _If she's not here, where else could she be?_ She opened the twelfth door.  

  **_" REALLY, DOCTOR!"_** She yelled. The Doctor was in her bathroom, falling asleep on the floor, but that wasn't what had ticked her off. No, that was the seven- six empty, one half empty- bottles that surrounded her unconscious body. She bent down and started to shake her. The Doctor's eyes opened within a second.

 "What's going on? Yaz, you're wet." Her words where a bit slurred. Yaz sat down by The Doctor, really trying to keep her emotions in check.

  "Why, Doctor, why?"

  "What? What is the problem, Officer?" The Doctor grabbed the side of the tub, trying to sit up, groaning. _Officer?_ Yaz looked down at her soaking clothes. Yep, she still had on her uniform on. 

   "I'm seriously trying to help you, but you are just throwing it away. For starters, you go to face him alone. You could've gotten me to come with you, or Ryan or Graham, but no, you choose to go by yourself, even if it was to save a friend. Then you sneak out again, this time getting drunk. You can't keep doing this to yourself, not while I'm trying to help you get better."  Yaz moved a piece of hair, from The Doctor's face. "I was very worried about you this morning..... New rule: From now on you are going to tell me where you're going, got it?"

   The Doctor nodded, then smiled,"NEVER TELL ME THE _RULES_." Yaz supposed The Doctor was still a little drunk. She reached for a bottle that still had a little alcohol in it. "Oh, no you don't." Yaz got up and picked them up. She walked out.

\----

  The Doctor grabbed the side of the tub again, this time actually getting up. She slightly stumbled out of the bathroom.

   She found Yaz in the kitchen and started laughing. 

  Yaz looked up," What's so frigging funny?" 

  "You. You're an police officer in a police box. I've just realized that." The Doctor laughed harder.

  "Okay." Yaz didn't find anything about that comical. "We are going to my flat. Don't you dare try and get out of it. Tomorrow, hang over or not, we are going to go somewhere." They didn't wait for the rain to stop falling, so they had to run though the rain. The Doctor kept wanting to stop and jump in the puddles, so they got even more soaked.

  "Okay, just stay there." Yaz **told** her when they got there. Yaz ran into her mother in the hallway, going to get some dry clothes.

   "Is the Doctor here?" Najia asked.

   "Yep."

   "Oh, hi, Yaz's mum!" The Doctor called out, coming into the hall. 

   "Go back to where I told you to stay. Water is getting everywhere."

   Najia walked closer to her daughter. 

    "Back to normal." She looked at The Doctor. Yaz didn't answer.

     "Intoxicated?" 

     "Yep." Yaz walked into the room. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a dark blue t-shirt and grabbed another pair of similar set.  

     She walked out of her room. The Doctor was in deep thought. Yaz handed the clothes. "Here."

    A few moments later, she came out of the bathroom. The Doctor had the jacket on. Yaz rolled her eyes. 

   "I can find you a different jacket, but that one is just making everything wet agian." The Doctor shrugged out of her jacket, tossing it on Yaz's head. "Really," she said, pulling it off. She looked at The Doctor.

    She was looking at her right wrist. An orange glow was around it. Then it quickly faded. "What was that?" Najia asked. 

   The Doctor frowned. "Ugh...." Her words weren't slurred as they where before, and was a lot more serious. "You can help me with being drunk, but when it comes to actual pain, you can't make that fade," She said, still frowning at her hand. She felt her arms.

    _Wait, where's her jacket?  How was she in slightly too long blue jeans and a tie-dye t-shirt._ The Doctor looked at Yaz, and stuck out her hand, for the jacket. 

     "I have to dry this, and wash it. You've been wearing this for days now as well as the others," Yaz said, putting it in a basket. Then going to the bathroom to pick up the other clothes. Returning she said," These things can't be washed, though. She gave The Doctor the sonic and the suspenders. She clipped the suspenders to her jeans, then looked at Yaz..  "How did I get here?" The Doctor asked, finally noticing her surroundings. She sat on the sofa, still holding the sonic. 

    "What do you---- What was the last thing you remember?" Najia asked. She was going to ask _What do you remember?_ which was definitely _NOT_ what she needed to ask. 

    "Ugh..." She scrunched her face, which hurt, so she tried to think without doing that. Instead, she closed her eyes. "Falling asleep on the floor."

     "Why the floor?" Yaz asked.  

     "Colder, that way." Yaz sat beside her.

     "Why did you, uh, you know, empty a whole seven bottles of alcohol?" Yaz asked. "To get away... To distort my reality," The Doctor said, leaning her head on Yaz's shoulder. "For humans, it usually takes more time to get it back." She looked at the hand that was glowing a few seconds ago. 

     "Still the rule stands: You have to tell me or mum, where you are going. Also, I am going to the store to get you a new toothbrush, because your breath is awful." Yaz got up, but The Doctor held her wrist. "I don't want you to go," The Doctor whispered. 

     "Listen," Yaz said, softly," I'll be right back. I will get you some ice cream, too. Mum'll watch over you."

   She grabbed her keys and ran to the car, and sat there. Just sat there, thinking about nothing and everything. She took out her phone to find she had a few messages to catch up on from a couple of days ago.. Some messages where twelve from Ryan and ten coming from Graham. 

**THE DOCTOR HADN'T CALLED ME BACK AGAIN. I AM GETTING A BIT WORRIED. 8:57**

**DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE DOCTOR IS. I WENT BY YOUR FLAT AND THE TARDIS WAS GONE**. 9:38

  All the texts from Graham where like that.

When she looked at Ryan's, his where similar, but his coronation disorder made the sentences a bit shorter, but many had emojis. 

     ** _IS THE DOC AT YOUR PLACE?_**

  👽👽👽⏳⏳?

    Yaz rolled her eyes at Ryan's text and sent them a message:

    SHE IS GETTING BETTER.   

     Yaz pressed send then typed:

   I THINK. 

 

  Later when Yaz returned, about an hour later, she found The Doctor laying on the couch, with a damp rag over her head. Sweat drenched her shirt. The television was on a movie, but the volume was so low that no one could hear it. 

  "Doctor?" She didn't look over, but mumbled," Yeah?" in slight acknowledgement. "Just wondered if you where asleep. You want some ice cream or custard creams?" She asked, knowing she'd say," Both, always both,"  but Yaz was trying to get her to talk more.

  "Doesn't matter," She said, sitting up, taking the cloth from her face. Yaz went to sit beside her, handing her some ice cream with crushed custard creams. 

  "What are you watching?" 

   "Not watching it, not really, just thinking.... I think sometimes... Anyway, it's the end of Back to the Future part 3."  Yaz almost coughed. "Really?" 

    Sure, enough Doctor Brown had just ran over his DeLorean with a train.  "Okay, the end," Yaz said, shutting it off. _Dumb time-traveling movies._ "Have any thought to what we are going to do tomorrow, Doctor?" 

    "No idea," She said. her hand was started to shake," Do we have to go anywhere?"  

   "Yes, you do. If you don't, you'll think you are in a closed space, blocked off from the world." 

   "But.... What if I see, you know... him again?" The Doctor looked into Yaz's eyes. "How? Didn't you say you destroyed the vortex thing?" Yaz thought about it for a minute. "Hold on, time out.. You went to help your friends, how did he get to her."

     "I don't know.....  I rather not talk about it though," She added. "I respect that, Doctor," Yaz wrapped her free hand around The Doctor's shoulders. She immediately shrugged it off. "Is my jacket done?"

       Yaz got up, placed her dish in the sink, and went to the dryer, luckily her mother had switched them. "Here," Yaz said, giving them to her. 

   --- 

   The Doctor went to the bathroom. Exhaling, she looked in the mirror. The bruises on her face where turning red on the edges, it was better than them being fully blue. She removed her shirt, looking at the ones on her collarbone. As they where only streaks of bruises, they where turning a lighter shade of purple as well. The Doctor touched her stomach, just to see if they still hurt. "Oh, yeah. Still defiantly hurt," The Doctor whispered to herself.

  She quickly changed not wanting to linger any longer. The Doctor leaned on the counter, staring into the sink. She thought where they should go, because no matter how much she didn't want to admit it, Yaz was right. It was going to get smaller and smaller, till it closed her throat and never allowed her to be able to breath.

  The Doctor pulled on her coat. It was a familiarity. It was something to block her feelings from getting out. The long grey jacket was to keep her warm, when the ice shattered her mind and heart, over and over. It was there to draw away the fact that she enjoyed the crazy, curious mind her over clothes had. For now she was going to have to ditch it. Tomorrow, she was going to enjoy the trip, even if it was very fake. Tomorrow, she was going to have to put on a fake smile, both for Yaz and herself.   


	7. Graham and Crackers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graham checks in with The Doctor and Yaz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm American and call then crackers, just to be funny in the chapter title.
> 
> Sorry, this one may be another tear jerker.

   The Doctor was in the console room of the TARDIS leaning against it. Yaz was right beside her, picking up the tools. 

    "So, where are we going?" Yaz asked placing the last screwdriver into the box.There was a knock on the TARDIS door. The Doctor cracked it open, just a little. Then sighed of relief when she saw that it was only Graham.

     "Hey, Doc? Can I come in?" She opened it, letting him come in. He walked to the console, then turned to her. "You got more?" He pointed to the fresh cuts on her face. She flinched. Yaz was watching The Doctor carefully, placing the last tool in the box. "Same way?" 

    The Doctor didn't answer. Instead she looked at Yaz. Before Yaz could say anything, The Doctor ran to the corridor. A few seconds later, they heard the sound of retching. Yaz quickly followed the path to the bathroom, Graham behind her.

   "Doctor?" Yaz asked,"Can I open the door?" A moan came from the other side of the door. Yaz took that as an answer. The Doctor had a hand over her mouth, the other holding her wrist. She was sitting on the floor. "What happened?" 

   "Felt a little sick," The Doctor said," I really should not have had that alcohol, yesterday." She smiled softly, like it was a joke.

   "Wait, Doc. You were drinking?" Graham asked, kneeling beside her. 

    "That day I returned your call," Yaz started to hear the Doctor say, getting a wet rag," I had another call. The guy, who hurt me in Alabama, had taken someone..... My River. My Sweet River Song..... I suppose it was easier getting to her than anyone else, as they were in StormCage around the same time...... He knew I wouldn't let her get hurt." 

  Graham took the rag from Yaz, folded it into thirds, and placed it on her forehead. 

    "That was the day the TARDIS was gone?" Graham asked. The Doctor looked into his soft eyes. They contrasted so much from Krasko's. The Doctor nodded.

       "He was right, I couldn't just leave her. River was almost always gone.... I know why he chose to take her instead of anyone I used to travel with...... Over Clara..... Over Bill.... Over Donna... Over Amy.... Or anyone else."

  Graham (or even Yaz for that matter) didn't know who these people were, but he saw that The Doctor was almost begging him to ask. "Why?" The Doctor leaned into his arms, he saw tears running down her face. Yaz saw it, too. She wanted to pick The Doctor up and hug her, and never let go.

  "We were married, but both time-travelers. She died the first time we met. We were married, then she got lost, and I thought I'd never see her again...., but seeing River chained and being tormented was something I did not want to see. Then she needed to go back to her timeline! I knew what happen next! She gets stuck in a data base! So on top of all of this, I got to lose River again."

   The fact The Doctor didn't even speak of herself, and what happened to her, was the most Doctor thing ever. Unfortunately so was the next thing she did was her too. The Doctor pulled back a little bit, and threw up all over Graham's jacket.

  "Sorry," she said. Graham couldn't even get a little annoyed. He knew what it was like to lose someone like that....

   "Just.... Uh..... Shake it off outside and I'll put it in the TARDIS wash room," Yaz said. The Doctor had forgotten that Yaz was even there, just for a moment. Graham pulled off his jacket and wrapped up, trying not make a bigger mess.

     A few moments later, Yaz helped The Doctor up. "I can not believe I am saying this, but I suggest you eat some Custard Creams. It will settle your stomach." 

   The Doctor pressed her lips together and pressed the leaver. Instead of only one coming out. A whole packet slid down the ccompartment.  

     Graham gave the jacket to Yaz, leaving Graham and The Doctor in the console room. The Doctor pressed a few buttons. "Graham, this is River Song." He was shown a picture on the monitor. She was in a pair of jeans, a collared shirt, and a jean jacket. Their was two guns strapped to her hips, and an mixed expression as if to say both  _mess with me, and things will end badly_  and _I love you._

There was a reflection of The Doctor on the screen. Her bruised cut up face reflected off of River's.The Doctor ate another cracker as she swiped the screen to make the picture go away. Graham saw tears continue to fall. For now, this was progress.


End file.
